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“In the darkest moments, when the shadows are deepest, remember that every sunrise begins in the night. Your courage to face the darkness brings the dawn closer for us all.” - Anonymous
Introduction:
In the line of duty, first responders and military personnel face challenges and stressors that can seem insurmountable, carrying burdens that, at times, feel too heavy to bear alone. Recognizing the signs of mental distress and knowing when to seek help are crucial steps in navigating the stormy waters of mental health challenges. This guide, part of our Field Manuals series, aims to shed light on suicide prevention, offering hope and actionable advice for those who find themselves in the depths of despair.
Understanding the Signs
The first step in suicide prevention is recognizing the signs of mental distress. These can vary widely among individuals but often include:
Persistent sadness or hopelessness
Withdrawing from social interactions
Changes in behavior or routine
Expressing feelings of being a burden to others
Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself
Reaching Out for Help
It's imperative to understand that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Communication can be a lifeline. If you or someone you know is struggling, don't hesitate to:
Talk openly about your feelings or concerns with trusted individuals.
Seek professional counseling or therapy services.
Reach out to support groups specifically tailored for first responders and military personnel.
The Role of Community and Support
Community and support networks play a pivotal role in mental wellness. Sharing experiences and struggles within a supportive community can provide comfort and understanding that one is not alone in their battles.
Resources
For immediate support, the Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24/7, offering confidential assistance from trained professionals. Whether you're in crisis or concerned about someone who might be, they're there to help.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Personal Note
I have been there. I wasn't suicidal, but I was ready to die. I was withdrawn from what brings me the most joy in life and I couldn't even see it. Those around me that I loved the most, got the worst of me. It wasn't until my wife walked through the door, kids at a friend's house and said "Pack your shit, and get out of my house".
I was sitting in my recliner, staring at the blank TV wondering how I got here. My entire world was crashing down on me and I couldn't imagine why, I had no clue. I spent a week living with my sister and I saw the empty bottles in my mind. I wasn't drinking to relax and enjoy life, I was drinking to feel good enough to forget about the whole thing.
I wasn't deployed in war. I didn't have a series of bad calls that drove me to the edge. I wasn't on a bad call, staring down the barrel of a gun. It was remembering my parents divorce at 9 years old. It was losing my Dad at 16. It was my best friend's suicide, and being the one to find him. It was losing my Mom at 24 and being the first person on scene to do CPR, unable to save her life. It was wondering why I was an In-Charge on an ambulance when I couldn't save my own Mother. It was the countless friends and family I had lost along the years. It was the countless bad calls I have run.
It wasn't until I sat down for an hour long conversation with a therapist that week away from home that I realized two hours into talking that I had been through some pretty rough stuff in my life. It was at the end of that conversation when he said "My God, do you feel better?" that I realised the little things add up and can swallow you faster than one bad day. That was the first time I had seen a therapist. I am a Firefighter and a Paramedic, I have been doing this kind of job for over 14 years at the time, almost 20 now. I thought for sure seeing a therapist was for pansies and I knew there was nothing I needed treatment for. I was wrong.
Your story, or the story of a hero that touched your life is different. It may seem less significant than mine, or it may make my life look like a spoiled walk in the park. But what I can promise you is this - there is relief. It gets better. I couldn't see it then, separated from my Wife and only seeing my kids a few days over the weekend. But, I kept up with therapy, we bought a book called "Bulletproof Marriage" from a bad ass named Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, I stopped drinking, I started prescription THC from The Woodlands Cannabis Clinic, and life got better. I accepted that it got me, but I refused to let it win.
I thought PTSD was reserved for those that endured the worst. Battle hardened G.I. Joes that had deployed several times like good friends of mine I have interviewed for my podcast. I thought PTSD was for military vets that had seen the worst and killed hundreds of enemies. But again, I was wrong. Hell, in this day and age, we are all exposed to things that can cause us to have PTSD, and while I thought I was immune... I was simply wrong.
So my message is this: Reach out. There are too many of us suffering in silence praying that someone will ask us what is wrong. Not in the normal "How are you" and "I'm fine" kind of way. I needed someone to look me in the eyes and say "You're not okay, and that's okay". So if you're reading this in tears and you feel like I have described who you are, I am here, we are here. You may be just fine, and you may not be okay, but either way, it is okay. Please reach out to us, a therapist, the hotline, or someone. Before it is too late, let us help. We love you, we value your life, you are worth it.
Lieutenant John Kelley, Firefighter/ParamedicSupporting Our Heroes
At Guardian Grounds Ranch, we're dedicated to creating a sanctuary for our heroes to heal, both mentally and physically. Through donations, we aim to purchase land to expand our offerings, including mental wellness activities and counseling services tailored for first responders and military personnel. Your support can make a significant difference in the lives of those who've dedicated themselves to protect and serve us.
Your contribution can help save a life. Consider donating to Guardian Grounds today and join us in our mission to provide a beacon of hope and healing for our heroes.
Guardian Grounds
Guardian Grounds Ranch Board - A team united by the mission to provide sanctuary and support to our nation's heroes. Our board members bring personal insights, experiences, and heartfelt stories from the heart of Guardian Grounds. Each post reflects our shared dedication to the wellness and resilience of first responders and military personnel.